After visiting the Trinity School nurse for severe whiplash from chugging thirteen La Croixes, Maxwell Lawrence has announced the release of his new book “Downin’ La Croix: Tips and Tricks”. Inspired by the words of former football great John Allman, Mr. Lawrence stated that he wants to make an impact in and out of the Trinity world, and hopes that his book will reach kids from “Trinity to public schools in Russia to charter schools in Cuttyhunk and military schools in the heart of New York.” When asked about how he wrote the book, Lawrence said, “I just kicked back and wrote, baby.” Critics have raved about Lawrence’s work, describing it as giving the beverage industry a “real stinger to the cheek.” Mr. Lawrence also decided to leak some of the book early, admitting he struggles with keeping secrets to himself. Here are some of his exclusive La Croix chugging tips:
Tip #4: Always chug-a-lug a La Croix while cuddling with your life-sized Reagan cutout!
Tip #18: Downing a La Croix with friends is the best at a Kid Rock concert!
Tip #33: Never share your La Croix unless you’re a red-bellied commie.
Tip #46: La Croix is the PREFERRED drink of the Investment Club, Sailing Club, and Country Music Affairs Affinity Group.
Tip #87: To improve the sensational taste of La Croix, wear your sweater vest, groin length cargo shorts, and boat shoes!
NOTE: Each purchase comes with a free entry to win a Vineyard Vines x USA Bandana autographed by Maxwell Lawrence.