Will Kingham: walking L.L. Bean vampire, track star extraordinaire, AQB savage, the list goes on. What else could our dream boy have?
Well, now it turns out he can add singing to his stacked resume.
At approximately 8:45 A.M. yesterday morning, as the boys of Trinity’s premier and ONLY all male acapella group prepared their set, a sweet-yet-mysterious Will Kingham approached the microphone. Gasps were heard across the room.
“Is he… going to… sing?!?” asked a confused Maya Dubin ’19.
“Maybe for the first verse or so,” replied superfan Ed Schmidt ’71. “All of the Sons of Pitches are so talented so they don’t like giving long solos.”
To their surprise, sultry Will Kingham gave an intimate rendition of “The Scientist” by British pop band Coldplay. He flipped his hair, he played with the microphone, he showed off his tap dancing moves, he made the song REAL. If the hair flip doesn’t make you swoon… he keeps Purell in his backpack.
The entire audience was quaking, except for seniors Eve Cohen, Joelle Ramson, and Claudia Chapman, who glared at each other with their arms crossed, pissed.
Student and faculty alike didn’t know what to do with themselves. Rumor has it Will winked towards Mr. Schmidt and he fainted. Some say they saw Eve Cohen’s knees go weak during the spicy “You don’t know how lovely you are,/ I had to find you,/ Tell you I need you,” but Chapman immediately dug her nails into her forearm until she bled.
Looks like Trinity has our very own Troy Bolton… now the next question is who gets to be his lucky Gabriella?
We don’t know if this will be Will’s one and only performance at Trinity, but we sure hope he starts performing more!