Stress Begone! Thanks to Multiple Experts Telling Students Brain Development Happens in Frontal Cortex, Students No Longer Stressed

For as long as anyone can remember, a Trinity education has been synonymous with four years of stress. Although many students and faculty alike have accepted this as truth, a few brave administrators weren’t content to just stand by and watch. Tired of hearing discourse between students and teachers, the school took matters into its own hands and brought in the experts. In a series of Community Time presentations, students learned that teenage development primarily occurs in the frontal lobe of the brain and that there’s a difference between being anxious and having anxiety (although they did not learn how to differentiate the two.) Anton Stengel ‘19, who spent the multiple presentations in a state of half-consciousness, believes that all the presenters used the same slideshow. But now that experts have recommended students go straight home from school to do three hours of homework, have dinner before two more hours of homework and go to bed at 10:30, Trinity’s formerly stressed student body has never been more relaxed. Karen Shi ‘18 exclaimed, “It’s a shame I had never thought to do this before. Now that I know how to manage my time, the nightly hours of homework don’t take any toll on my health whatsoever!” You have to hand it to the experts, they really understand the teenage plight like no one else!

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