The Twelve Trials of Trinity

  1. Getting an A in Muniz
  2. Getting a B in Muniz
  3. Getting a C in Muniz
  4. Dashing to Community Time at 8:16
  5. Avoiding going to the Nutrition Club
  6. Not jerking too much
  7. Waiting for the damn toaster
  8. Fake laughing at Dr. Kolman’s jokes
  9. Staying awake during guided meditation
  10. Commenting in Trinity Discourse
  11. The crippling anxiety which the college process constantly hangs over our heads as we all approach the unfortunate knowledge that we are inadequate and no dream school will ever accept you because of that proficiency you missed in Physics and now you slowly cry while watching Netflix and think about how you should’ve enjoyed childhood before it slipped away and how you spent your entire youth wanting to be an adult and now you miss those simpler days because you can’t ever go back
  12. The rush to get cookies at the end of the quarter

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