What to Say to a Tour Guide if You See Them Giving a Tour

  1. Happy birthday.
  2. You think these kids are gonna get in?
  3. Your fly is undone.
  4. If you don’t stop texting Justin, then don’t even bother coming to my quincañera.
  5. How did the operation go?
  6. Your parents sent you here to die.
  7. I wish I went to Horace Mann.
  8. Look, what you did to Ashley was really messed up. She may have forgiven you, but that doesn’t mean I do.
  9. No one wants to go to your stupid Origami Club meeting so stop sending out all school emails.
  10. Susan just got crucified in the Chapel. Go check it out. All over Snapchat.

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