Student Gets BC Calculus Quiz Back, Frantically Plugs 9.5/10 Into Calculator To See Grade

Monday– As Dr. Newton handed back his BC Calculus A Section’s test second period, an area student for whom we’ll use the alias ‘Jamie’ immediately unzipped his backpack to pull out a glistening Texas Instruments 84 Inspire calculator to see what his 9.5 out of the 10 possible equated to. Jamie breathed a sigh of relief as his calculator displayed .95, which he recognized immediately to be a flat A. (The author of this article would like to take a moment to note that in no way is this piece anecdotal. Yes, I do happen to be in Dr. Newton’s math class, but I assure you I have never had the chance to plug in any combination of numbers whose outcome was .95. Well, that’s also not true. Sometimes I like to slowly add points back to my score until I finally reach what I was aiming for. However, I strongly recommend against this exercise– telling yourself you were only two points from a good score is fun until you realize the quiz was out of five.) As Jamie placed his calculator back in his bag, he subtly pumped his fist, but just enough for that kid who always brags about his grades, let’s call him ‘Davis,’ to see. It’s so good to see Jamie is mastering the Fundamental Theory of Calculus and Optimization. Maybe one day he’ll even be able to calculate his own grades.

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