College Gear Controversy: I Have Strong Opinions About This But I’m Not Sure What They Are

Tuesday— For months now, the senior class has struggled with the question of wearing college gear at school. Since first sitting in a college counseling class titled “College in the Public Eye” (why the college office gives each class an official name, we’re not sure. But rule #1 of college counseling is to never question the counselors) students have been told by the College Office that Trinity’s unhealthy focus on college admissions is the product of students wearing t-shirts and talking about their plans after high school. Forget the copious amounts of work that strain students’ mental health, which they later attempt to justify with an acceptance to an elite university, the problem is definitely the shirts.

We at The Garlic feel very strongly about this controversy, but are not sure with which side we stand. So we decided to find our the sentiment on the street.

Maddie Rhea ’18 strongly opposed college gear in school, and could be heard telling her peers “it’s just wrong! Truly a lewd display of self-indulgence.”

Mahtab Shihab ’18 disagreed. The future Harvard student exclaimed “Did you know I’m going to Harvard? I don’t know how people will find out if I don’t wear some gear.” (For all you ladies out there, prom is approaching, and did you know Mahtab is going to Harvard?)

The always outspoken Brenton Jaffe ’21 said, “It’s very unclear to me where we as a school draw the line. People get really upset if someone wears a shirt with the name of an Ivy, but are fine if it’s somewhere like Alabama or Cornell.”

The time has finally come to answer the question no one’s been asking: what does The Garlic make of all this? Well, let me tell you, we are deeply entrenched in some pretty sophisticated ideas that weigh the historiographical significance and moral imperatives of this debate. What are they, you ask. If I’ve learned anything in Dr. McCarron’s Medical Ethics, it’s how to hide my lack of understanding of philosophical theory behind vaguely related personal stories and hope the reader applies their own meaning. Anyways, a few weeks ago, I was walking back though the halls of Trinity when I saw a sophomore wearing a Princeton shirt, his third college shirt of the week. I asked him, “Cornelius the Fourth, did you buy some new gear?” He replied, “yes,” and then I ran away because I was too afraid to confront him about the implication his appearance might carry. To conclude, as Immanuel Kant always said, “‘the only thing more refreshing than a moral debacle is the cool, crisp taste of Diet Coke™️.” (I’m not doing very well in Methics.)

*we would like to thank Diet Coke for their continued support. Drink the rainbow or something like that!

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