“I Miss The Good ‘Ole Days When The Swamp Was Down Here”, Reveals Area Freshman

Tuesday– I believe it was the great Mickey Mantle who once said, “trusting a freshman is like trusting someone who’s already been proven untrustworthy, it’s probably not a great idea.” Baseball players are so wise…

Mickey’s quote is just as relevant today as when he first uttered those words back in 2006. To kick off a week of senior pranks, the graduating class woke up early this morning and relocated the swamp from the second-floor lounge to its rightful home– the egress of the first floor outside the chapel. For many years, in fact, as far back as anyone can remember, this area, which has now been converted into gallery space, was home to the backpacks, bodies, and most importantly, hearts of the student body. It was no doubt an emotional day for many Juniors and Seniors who used to spend their days in the old swamp. Many described it as “a reunion”, “it felt like coming home”, or “Oh! So that’s where the furniture went!”

But the day wasn’t appreciated properly by all. A few emboldened Freshmen and Sophomores had the audacity to claim they liked the swamp better this way. Critics were quick to point out that none of these underclassmen had ever actually spent any time in the swamp, and therefore could never understand the true experience. A select few frosh who have been at Trinity since they were Kindergarteners pointed out they had actually spent some time in the hall back in the day, which was met with chortles of “that’s cute.” Cultural appropriation has been problematic as Trinity in the past, and it appears that we are yet to shake its uncomfortable grasp on some students.

Trinity’s relatively new administration has found itself in the middle of the swamp controversy. Leadership has made a name for itself with a movement to purify Trinity culture. Attempts to rename the swamp ‘The Commons’ as if this were some pluralistic moon society and to ban music have succeeded only in upsetting students. Yet the admins have not backed down from their bold stance, summoned up with the catchy tagline, “Drain the Swamp!” Often seen walking around the second-floor lounge in a floppy red baseball caps with white lettering that read, “Make Traditions Dead Again!” members of the administration have become symbols of the exact wrong type of progress. If today proved anything, its that we want to sit by ourselves away from people! We want to listen to music that’s too loud to possibly be good for our ears. Dammit, we want to be in the egress! Today the freshmen learned the glories of the swamp as it was meant to be. Hopefully, the administration did too. (I am informed they did not.)

As for the rest of Senior Pranks this week, I’ll only divulge one detail. One detail nobody ever wants to hear…

Clowns. Clowns everywhere…

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