Thursday– Although overshadowed by Trinity’s First Annual Annex Link Appreciation Day, (get ready for Trinity’s Second First Annual Annex Link Appreciation day on Friday, May 10, 2019!) Trinity’s Senior class was at it again! In a week filled with senior pranks that has already included balloons and a bouncy house (got em!), the tricksters decided to elevate their pranks to the next level today. That’s right, to the astonishment and outright disbelief of the entire Trinity community, the seniors walked into school this morning in clothes they’d wear to the beach! And really early this morning, Dash Wasserstein ’18 sent out a school wide email with the subject line ‘life is a beach.’ So clever! I know it’s second semester, but are these students out of their mind! Even better, some students brought in a blender and some piña colada mix to make drinks throughout the day. (This part was actually pretty funny, so pretend I didn’t even mention it.) The rest of the school, reeling all day from the absolute savage display put on by the Class of 2018, couldn’t believe their eyes.
Dr. Kolman was quick to reprimand the seniors for their brazen actions. The Upper School Office released a statement, in which they outlined what punishment might be in store for the rambunctious crew. “This is not a beach, so why are you all wearing beach clothes? I’d understand if one of you got confused and wore beach clothes, Jeremy Ben Meir ’18 still hasn’t figured it out after four years, but all 110 of you (or really just the 30 who actually followed through) is too much to be a coincidence. We are all very confused, disappointed, and as the kids these days like to say, ‘pwned so hard.’ This type of behavior will not fly. It will take the train. Eyyyo. Do you get it? I’m Dr. Kolman and that’s my type of joke!”
The always outspoken Brenton Jaffe ’21 remarked, “Classic Dr. Kolman, always at it with his hilarious jokes! The only thing funnier than those jokes was the seniors’ prank today. Not because it was actually funny, but because they thought it would be. But maybe that’s what they were going for, because anything else would just be pathetic… So I’m gonna give them credit for the meta humor, which, I reiterate, had to have been the plan because if it wasn’t, that was the worst ‘prank’ I’ve ever seen.”
Not everybody supported today’s outrageous antics, especially when so many other pranks were left behind. Some great ideas didn’t make the cut, including my ingenious plan to fill Ms. Nuñez’ office with Florida souvenirs and paraphernalia (I’m not talking Miami, I’m talking Tallahassee). However, not all brilliance is immediately recognized, and my plan gained little traction before being tossed to the wayside. I am confident, however, that a year from now, everyone will realize how nuanced this prank would’ve been. Another idea of mine that got rejected was to unleash the ghosts living in that classroom way in the back of the old building that nobody ever uses. However, I was told that they had become too disconnected from the outside world, and could threaten the friendly ghosts that inhabit the library archives and help Mr. Plonsky pass the long hours by playing fun word games.
I don’t know how the Seniors are going to follow up today’s insane trickery tomorrow. Maybe they’ll dress up like vampires! But probably not, because that might be too scary, and some might not understand why it’s a prank. No matter what they do, it’ll be tough to top today’s top-notch trickery. Perhaps the Seniors, trying to figure out the ultimate prank for tomorrow, will quote everyone who they duped today and exclaim, “‘Life’s a beach’ -Dash Wasserstein ’18”