Wednesday— The Asian Affairs Club was in for a surprise last night when an area parent showed up to their monthly dinner meeting. At first the group wrote the adult’s appearance off as a misunderstanding— he must not have realized that this was a student run club, and he probably saw the signs advertising the event they had hung a week ago. But leaders began to suspect something was wrong during the club’s group discussion after dinner. When President Shirley Shi ’18 asked newcomers to introduce themselves, the parent stood up and pronounced, “Hi everyone, I didn’t expect you all to be so young. I’m Jefferey, and I’m an alcoholic.” An uncomfortable silence enveloped the room for a brief moment, before Shi took charge of the situation, and asked how everyone’s fourth quarter was going.
Tyler Masuyama ’19, a junior leader of the affinity group, was shocked by the unfortunate events. “It took us all a second to really process what had just happened. In a flash, we all knew that Mark’s dad was addicted to Satan’s Sweet Nectar, as the kids these days call it.”
Katelyn Lee ’19, another leader of the club, was disappointed with the misunderstanding. “We used to be the Asian American Alliance, but kept getting calls from people stuck on the side of the highway asking for roadside service. We thought changing our acronym to ‘AA’ would solve this problem, but I guess in our hurry to find something new, we looked past this potential quandary.”
The always outspoken Brenton Jaffe ’21, a prolific member of the club, enjoyed the fireworks. “We may not be alcoholics or know anything about the road to recovery, but I really think we’re exactly what Jefferey needs right now. And that’s what Asian Affairs is all about!”