Investigative Journalism: What Are Freshmen Doing In The Library?

Thursday— As the year winds down, students flock to the quiet section. Much to the surprise of many juniors and sophomores, freshmen have appeared in this sacred territory as well. These older members of the Trinity community were most curious to discover what work pushed freshmen to the library. Despite murmurs in the hallway of “Oh, I remember the Renaissance project,” that was due months ago. So we here at The Garlic set out to determine what created such a stir.

When I walked into the library, the first freshman I saw was working tirelessly. It seemed his project was memeing the frosh next to him. After countless retakes, he finally perfected it, added just the right mixture of filters and gifs, and deemed it ready to send. As I walked further into the depths of this soulless and silent place, I noticed that two frosh were hogging the couch. The two of them were sharing headphones, listening to music that could be heard throughout the library, though they did not seem to know that. Perched on their laps were Chromebooks. A sly peek showed slither.io open on both screens.

It appeared as if some freshmen were actually working. Two girls were huddled next to each other with a google doc open in front of them. Although they deserve respect for their work, it was all lost by their loud whispering. Many students simply glared repeatedly, but Andrew Kornfeld ‘19 let them know how he really felt. “This is the quiet section,” he whispered angrily at them. “You’re supposed to be quiet here. Some people like me need to focus. This garlic article–I mean this history paper–won’t write itself.”

Dr. Halper could not be reached for comment on this unfortunate slip of the tongue.

 

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