Fake Magazine Asks for Real Application

The Garlic asked for aspiring staff writers to send us a sample article as their application. This is what we got.

In a shocking turn of events, The Garlic, Trinity’s premier fake publication, asked applicants for its staff writing positions to write real applications. The always outspoken Brenton Jaffe ‘21 was horrified, saying, “Look, what even is The Garlic? And why do they want me to write?” After a pause, and a lack of response he elaborated, “No, like, what is The Garlic?”

In fact, the entire student body seems to be confounded by this turn of events, since the magazine, being fake, was merely thought to be a collective hallucination, in an attempt to try and contain the collective mental breakdown of the student body, brought on by an over the top workload. In a comment to the public, former editor-in-chief Will Cramer ‘18 said, “I never thought it would go this far. I just wanted to confuse the people long enough to get my Yale application in.”

Mr. Maullon, fake advisor to fake magazine, has since vanished from school, claiming that he has a “baby.” Suuuuuure.

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