Tuesday— Sons of Pitches Superfan Ed Schmidt ‘71 started his day on April 23rd like any other morning. He woke up to the sound of his alarm (the Sons of Pitches a cappella rendition of “Shout” by Otis Day and the Knights) and brushed his teeth with a custom made Tooth Tunes™ toothbrush that plays the Sons of Pitches cover of “Runaround Sue.” The morning of April 23rd was routine for Ed Schmidt ‘71, and yet so different. That Monday, Mr. Schmidt opted for a light blue button down rather than the navy sweater and khakis ensemble he had been donning all winter. Jaws dropped as Mr. Schmidt walked through the 101 entrance. “How does he do it? He isn’t wearing Supreme and it’s still so good!” Alex Chung ‘21 reportedly yelled at the scene.
As the year comes to a close, we at The Garlic decided to commemorate the simple, yet unforgettable, style of Trinity’s very own Ed Schmidt. Throughout his several years at Trinity, Mr. Schmidt has inspired students and faculty alike with his three distinct outfits. Being the serious investigative journalist that I am, I sought out to further understand why Mr. Schmidt’s style is so mesmerizing. So, I asked two of his longtime friends: Tom Bolster and David Nelson.
“Jaharia, I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here,” Mr. Nelson said, focused on a scarf he was knitting, “I haven’t seen Mr. Schmidt wear more than ten outfits my entire time knowing him. Which has been my entire life.”
Mr. Bolster told me, “You know, I can list many words to describe Mr. Schmidt. Stylish? Definitely not in my top three… or top twenty… or top two-hundred. Is this a joke?”
They were both being unresponsive, but I couldn’t give up. Lucas Perra ‘18, my peer leader who hasn’t talked to me since peer leading ended, commented, “Coach Schmidt? Hm, He doesn’t strike me as the fashion type. I have to go somewhere now, but it’s nice seeing you, Jane.” I promptly left, utterly insulted (but not surprised) by the name mix-up. Why was everyone joking around for this article? It wasn’t possible that they were being serious. Right?
In a final attempt to salvage this article, I went to the man himself, the trendsetter, the one and only, Sons of Pitches Superfan Ed Schmidt ‘71. Here is the soon-to-be famous (or perhaps infamous) transcript of our interview:
Mr. Schmidt: Hey, Jaharia, what did you set up this meeting for? The essay due in two weeks?
Jaharia: That would’ve been a great reason to set up a meeting. I’m here for something better, though. I’m writing an article for The Garlic—
Mr. Schmidt: Ah, that darned Garlic. Curse Will Cramer and Julie Sykes! I’m class of ‘84! ‘84! Not ‘71! Anyways Jaharia, I have 54 other students to tend to, and you waste my time with this. You know they don’t actually interview people there, right? *laughs* Well, I’m glad you’re putting your energy into something rather than memorizing my play for my birthday.
Jaharia: You said it was extremely sweet in your thank you email!
Mr. Schmidt: I also said it was slightly weird. Jaharia, are you pulling my leg? You’re always pulling my leg. In all seriousness, though, I’m glad you’re taking extra time to write. Maybe you’ll be a better writer this way.
Jaharia: Thanks a lot. As I was saying—
Mr. Schmidt: But Jaharia, I think you’re masking, or perhaps showcasing, your weird obsession with your English teacher by creating a satire article at my expense. What is it about anyways?
Jaharia: I, well, it’s called “Fashion Icon of the Year: Ed Schmidt ‘71”, and I wanted to inter—
Mr. Schmidt: *laughs* I only have one comment. I wear three of the same shirts a season. That’s nine shirts a year. My pants? Strictly khakis, but you’ve noticed that. All I can say is that, hm. I don’t know what to say, but I’ve often been called an average white guy. Never a style icon. Is that all? Please say yes, Jaharia. I thought this would be important. I have work to do.
Jaharia: I have all I need. See you in English!
Mr. Schmidt: This was weird. Goodbye, Jaharia.