What Local Trinitarians Were up to This Summer

Welcome back to school! We know everyone’s spent the past few days signing academic integrity statements, telling their teachers their favorite part of summer reading was the first chapter, reading old Garlic articles, signing more academic integrity statements, and timing how fast they can eat a sleeve of saltines in the math lab. It’s great to be back!

But enough about the first few days of school. How about that long break!? We at The Garlic decided to interview some of Trinity’s students about their summer days. Here is what everyone was up to this summer:

Gaetano Cremoux ’19: Gaetano thought he was clever coming back to school after summer break with blond hair so he could tell everyone that the sun made it lighter. Nice try, buddy, but you can’t fool me. You dyed your hair and we all know it.

Elizabeth Shah ’19: Most local students noticed Elizabeth this week sporting some mean new muscles. Some people asked, “Andrew, is this running joke a sad attempt at a scheme?” No, no it is not. I swear. Others said, “Okay enough with the Elizabeth jokes this is getting weird.” Shut up! But rumor has it you might get to see some footage of Elizabeth’s mom coaching her through candle-lighting workouts some time around Halloween….

Generic Freshman ’26: Had a great time ____Waterskiing____ in ____Florida____ and is really looking forward to ____her____   ___Physics class___ this year.

You: Have yet to change your self-destructive behavior. You had the whole fucking summer to do that reading, yet you still managed to leave yourself with an uncomfortable amount of work in the waning days of Summer. How pitiful.

There you have it: the Trinity high school summer of 2018! Okay, so that’s not everyone. And alright, maybe we forgot to post an article yesterday. But it’s the second day of school and we’re seniors now so we can do whatever19 we 1want9. Am I doing19 this right19?

Anyway, we’re back. Big things com1n9 soon….

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