Five Quick Ways to Become the Dopest Freshman in the Swamp

Freshmen, it may just be your first two weeks at Trinity, but it’s imperative that you secure your social dominance ASAP. Here’s how to do it:

  1. Block the hallways as much as you can. Nothing says power like preventing anyone from getting to the end of the math hallway by forming a barricade in front of your physics room.
  2. Dress like a sound cloud rapper with a trust fund. Show you’re trendy by showing up to school in a $500 pair of nikes that cost a fortune because of that weird orange tag on them.
  3. Order an obscene amount of food to the school. I’m serious, there’s no better way to impress the upperclassmen than ordering an almond butter açai bowl from Juice Gen for your cleanse.
  4. Complain about your workload. There’s no better way to show your commitment to academic rigor than complaining about Dr. Cannon assigning you a two page personal essay.
  5. Join AQB. Nothing screams #clout like hanging out with Antonella Dec Prat during Ad Hoc and answering questions about Rutherford’s Plum Pudding Atomic Model.

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